It's been awhile since I've last blogged and a lot has happened during that time. I've been busy with my volunteer placements, Thanksgiving was wonderful, going to Sydney was interesting (we went for the Alternative to Violence Project), and the break-in was pretty tragic. But i'm going to pass all of that and go to the present.

Recently i've been asked some very good questions that I thought it would be good to post on here. So it's going to be a Q&A blog this time.

Q: You mentioned the Verandah where you prepare food parcels. Do you do this every week?
A: No, I do not do this every week but I wish I did. So far I'm involved with the Verandah every second and third Tuesdays. I am trying for every Tuesday.

Q: How has this changed how you feel about your heritage?
A: Volunteering at the Verandah has made me more thankful for my family and appriciate all they do for me. The thing that has really stood out to me is how much my family loves me. The people at the Verandah normally don't have someone that cares about them, no one to hold them accountable. So if anything I've been more appriciative of where I come from. It gives me a soft heart for those who don't have what I have.

Q: Are you regarly working with the ladies at L'arche? Do these ladies have MR?
A: I go to L'arche every Thursdays and Fridays. Yes, these ladies do have Mental Retardation, just like the folks at Friendship Community.

Q: How have you felt your experiences have changed you thus far into your journey?
A: This year has stretched me in ways that I never expected. Let me give you an example: Walking through the parking lot with Moriah at the prison I was a nervous reck, but only someone who knew me well could tell, like Moriah. About 30 steps from reaching the front door at the prison, I turned to Moriah and totally freaked out. I said something along the lines of "I am about to walk into a prison of mostly males. How am I supposed to help them and talk to them when I already have my own issues with men. I've never done anything like this. Woman, what were you thinking sending me here! Do I look like I can handle this? Okay, deep breath... GO!" and I walked into the prison still a nervous wreck. Now, it's two months later and I'm walking into that prison like it's no big deal and talking to people like I talk to anyone. I inform people of Prisoners Aid and what we offer. Wayne, the guy who is training me, says "keep doing what you're doing... don't change a thing."

That's it. Thanks for your attention. Stay safe.
Ashley

See, we bond

 

Brown hair, blond hair, and red hair. Extremely introverted to extremely extroverted.  Neat freak to complete slob… we have it all on the Australian team.  How does this mesh fit together?  Well, I admit, it was rough at first.  We all avoided each other during training and at least two of us were crying after the week here.  But now, look at us… we are together making bagels and having the time of our lives.  Yes, we all have a different preferences in Bagels- Chocolate chip (Steph), Apple Cinnamon (Me), Blueberry (Becca), and everything bagels (Shae)- but we are all doing it together, and that’s what counts.  People said “How are you going to survive!?  And I’ve gotten several e-mail’s asking if we have killed each other yet… well, although we’ve gotten close a few times, we are actually doing quite well.  We have great fun doing stuff together.  So let me just say what the Australia team has been saying for the past 2 months in response to the comments made before when we weren’t bonding,

TAKE THAT DARRELL!

~Love, The Australia TEAM

What should I call this?

"Yeah, I'm doing alright." This is what I hear almost every time I ask him how he is doing. Yet, I see the sadness in his eyes, and hear the pain in his voice. He doesn't break eye contact and nods his head while twisting his mouth into a smile. All this to reassure me that he's doing alright... I'm not fooled. But, I say no more, and he walks out the door, not to be seen again until the next week when the Verandah opens again.

The Verandah is a community room where people who are homeless or who live in the Government housing in the surrounding area can come and hang out and/or receive emergency food parcels. Most of the people who come to the Verandah have a mental illness and/or a problem with drug addiction or alcoholism. The Verandah receives donated food each month which is stored in a pantry. People who come can get one food parcel each consisting of 6 food items. Several reasons why people may need food parcels are because they've spent all their money on drugs, they may have to pay rent so they can't afford food for the week, maybe they pay child support and can't make ends meet so they don't eat... the list goes on. But we do more than hand out food parcels and provide a place for people to come hang out... we are a listening ear and a voice of reasoning in some circumstances.

When walking home after closing up the Verandah for the day, I pass the grocery store that we go to each week and I see one of the men who come to the Verandah sitting on a bench in front of the store. I hesitated for a second or two and decided against going up to say hi. I need him to trust me a little more before making that kind of contact. But in that moment, my heart melted. I am so excited to be apart of what the Verandah is doing. It is a privilege to be involved in this way.

My Thoughts in Song

I was sure by now, God You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away, Stepped in and saved the day.
But once again I say "Amen" and it's still raining.
As the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you."
And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands
and praise the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands.
For you are who you are no matter where I am.
And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand.
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm.

I remember when I stumbled in the wind.
You heard my cry, You raised me up again.
My strength is almost gone.
How can I carry on if I can't find you?
As the thunder rolls I barely hear you whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as your mercy falls I raise my hands
And praise the God who gives and takes away.

I lift my eyes unto the hill.
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

-"I'll Praise You in This Storm" by Casting Crowns-

~Through the trials and termoils of our lives remember God's whisper: "I'm with you."~

Failed attempt

Public transportation is not as easy as it looks! One day Shae, Becca, Steph, and I went to a museum and we were to take a bus back home to Irene's Place. Well, first of all, we had bought bus tickets weeks back so we had those in our pockets and Moriah told us to take bus 6 back to our house. So we found the bus terminal and it made sense to wait for bus six where there are benches with a big sign with the number 6 on it. We wait there for about 15 minutes and here comes a bus 6. We attempt to get on the bus, but the bus driver looked at our card and said "sorry, you can't board this bus... you have a ACTION card and since they are a monoply we don't accept those cards." Well, we were a bit ticked off, but what were we to do? So we went back to the benches and proceeded to wait for a bus that said "ACTION" on the side. There were heaps of ACTION buses that passed, but none stopped where we were. After about 10 minutes, we decided to go look at the map which was posted across the street. The map was not helpful for our American minds which didn't comprehend the different columns that stated bus numbers and terminal numbers... it was like we were in a foreign country!! :). We just stood there completely defeated and helpless. After much confusion we decided to find a payphone and call Moriah for help.

That was not the end of the problems. We couldn't get the payphones to take our money! I'm telling you, the payphones in Australia are not normal. There are weird slots in them which tell you to insert a payphone card?! I still don't know what that was about... but the slot where we were supposed to insert change was closed. (See SincerelyShae.blogspot.com for video) Eventually, after lifting up a pulley and forcing in coins with a certain amount of pressure and correct timing (see how complicated it was!) we got the coins to go in. I put in $1, which gave us like 30 seconds of calling time. At this point we were all grumpy, defeated, and just didn't want to attempt to find the bus so we just asked Moriah to come pick us up, as embarressing as that was. May I add that it took us 2 phone calls to actually get in everything we needed to say before time ran out. So, needless to say... Mission FAILED.

So I have a story for you!

Today we were introduced into Wesley United which is the church where Irene's Place is located. So as we were introduced we had to give our names, where we are from, what are volunteer locations are, and why we are here in general. Then we all sat down and listened to the sermon which was about giving, and the pastor said "compared to most of the people in the world, everyone in this church, EXCEPT maybe "The Interns" (us) in Irene's place, is concidered rich!" They also think Moriah (Irene's Place leader) is dirt poor, so that just adds to the story. So after church we all go back home to Irene's Place and are just chillin'/eating lunch when this car stops in front of our house. This elderly man (90 years old) steps out of his car and awkwardly walks up to the door. Moriah and I are just watching from the kitchen window and are like "what is he doing?" Well, Moriah goes and opens the door and he just looks at her and say "yes, you are home" and then turns around and goes back to his car without saying another word. Moriah calls after him and says "Sir?! can I help you with something?" and he just keeps walking, doesn't respond. Once the man gets to his car he starts to fiddle with something in the front seat then emerges from his car with a plastic bag. I'm not exactly sure what Moriah said to him cause I couldn't hear, but she comes in with this bag full of food: one loaf of bread, 6 pieces of nice pork chops, and 2.2 kg of raw chicken with herbs, and 1/2 gallon of honey that he raised himself. Becca and I just look at each other with this amazed expression on our faces. The old man then comes back to the door and says "I was moved by the message this morning and what you said, so what do you need?" Moriah just said "well, actually we are fine! We arn't as dirt poor as he made us out to be, so we'll be alright."

Let me just say, that 90 year old man now has a special place in my heart. Aussies don't exactly understand simple living so a lot of people want to step in and provide what we need. Such nice people. I know, my last post was about giving, but I still can't get over how generous people can be. Seriously, generous... one man offered to give us a car. Others ask us if we have enough heaters, blankets, or anything/everything.

Next week's blog: Our failed attempt at public transportation.

First Impressions

You'd think that Australia is a hot desert-like landscape with kangaroo's hopping around randomly, right? Well, that's false. I entered Australia in short sleeves and flip-flops (known as thongs here) but came to a rude awakening as I walked outside to find it cold and windy. It was like Canberra was saying "take that!" to my stereotype. The aussies around say that the day we arrived is a day that is going to marked down in history because we arrived on the day of the dust storm. Moriah was talking of clear blue skys, mountains, and amazing looking birds when all we could see is a cloud of red dust outside the windows. O, and I have yet to see a kangaroo.

Speaking of first impressions, everyone here is rather nice and generous. I'm getting quite good at introducing myself. "Hi, my name is Ashley Milburn. I'm from Lancaster, Pennsylvania (It's on the east coast of the US)" and then continue on about how I got here. It's really hard to explain about what I was doing before I came here. See, I would have to talk about school and for Aussies- Kindergarden (or Kindie) to 6th grade is primary, 7th thru 10th is high school and 11th & 12th is College and then it's university (or uni as they call it). So when I explain what I was doing before I came into missions I say "I graduated college and started working with adults with intellectual disabilities and took a year off to come here." It gets confusing sometimes. When Aussies show their appreciation/excitement for us being here, they tend to be very generous. This past Sunday I was wearing thongs (flip flops :) ) to church and it was very cold. Someone saw this and was like "arn't your feet cold!?! I said "yeah, but I don't have dress shoes to wear and this is what I have." Well then I heard later that they asked if they could buy me some shoes! Going along with the cold thing, a couple of people asked if we needed heaters and that they would get us some if we needed them. Aussies are just so giving!! They also think that we are poor, when in reality we are just choosing to live simply, however, I really appriciate the offer, it shows that they care! So thoughtful! Anyways, I could go on, but this is kinda getting long.

This time next week, I'll be in Australia!!! I can't stop saying that, it's like a song that gets stuck in your head and you just repeat it over and over and over again and it never gets old. It's sad to say goodbye to all those I have lived with in the past 4 weeks, but now it's time to move on into this Radical Journey and meet new people and make new friends. Life in Chicago has been good though. There is such a diverse group of people just walking down the street. You see people all dressed up, going to school and work, you see people chilling in front of a store, and then you also see homeless people sitting on the sidewalks. So many different people and different races. It's great that people can come together and live together in a community. Whether its the neighborhood or the Jesus People USA community. It seizes to amaze me how wonderful this place is.

Reflecting on the past 4 weeks, there have been times of laughter, crying, and mostly deep thoughts. Many topics have been discussed such as poverty, conflict, homosexuality, racism, hospitality, spiritual disciplines, and much more (these are the ones that stick out in my mind). Each one of these topics have brought deep conversation and thoughts even when it's days later. Sometimes it's just plain intense in the house... but there is always someone who brings in the comic relief to end the conversations on a good note. These past 4 weeks have been amazing... and if this has been amazing, then the next 10 months will be out of this world! I'm so excited to go and experience new things, and then come back and share everything I have learned and start having some deep, intense conversations.

Conflict

Drama, Stress, High School, immaturity, struggle. These are words that initially come to my mind when I think of the word "conflict." Conflict... where to start? The first thing they taught us here about conflict is that there is no set formula in solving it... Good luck!!! So when conflict arises, how do we deal with it?

One activity that we did was that one person stood in front of the room and said "I am conflict, now go and position yourself in a way that represents how you deal with me!" The first thing I did was stand right in front of "conflict" and crossed my arms. I wanted this to represent that my way of dealing with conflict is to deal with it right away, but feel the need to protect myself. Once everyone in the group was settled, the guy who was "conflict" said "now look around and see where everyone else is at. there were some people who were in the cornor of the room, some were closer to conflict, but put some obsticles in between, and others were closer to it, but still kept their distance. I paid really close attention to where my teammates were standing compared to me, and realized that each one of us was in a very different place. Now this was interesting to me, seeing as I was the one who was really close to "conflict" but my teammates range from a medium distance to the whole way to the back of the room. I think that at first, it might be a little difficult for all of us to deal with these differences, but by the end of the year we will all rub off on each other a little and we will all learn new techniques in solving conflict. I might mellow down a bit, and the everyone else might get a little more aggressive... or not. Either way, it'll work out.

Silent Retreat

If you've never had a silent retreat in your life... you need to try it! I'm talking about silence... no talking, turning off the phone, turn off your TV's and computers. Go off alone somewhere, away from brothers/sisters, husband/wife, friends and all family and just be silent. This is what I did a few days ago. For 5 hours (I know not that long, but it was still a good experience) the whole group took a silent retreat. This was such a good experience. You can get so caught up in everyday life, and forget that God wants to spend time with you and talk with you. So many times we say "Oh, but I'm waiting for a phone call, or I have to do this and this and this and this before I go and do that!" When I start doing that sort of thing, I start to think to myself "seriously?! Am I really putting my life before God?" At that point, it's time for a silent retreat.

God wants conversation with us. All He needs is just an hour or two of our time. During my silent retreat, I spent like an hour in prayer, 30 minutes of journaling, and about 2 hours studying my Summit Journal. This was all time with God, and I can honestly say that it was refreshing. I felt renewed and ready to go back into the busy house. I'm really not good at explaining this feeling, but I highly recommend that when you are stressed out or feel like you need a break... just take a silent retreat. If your communication with God at that time didn't go so well, then at least you had that time to yourself to relax and take a few breaths. Personally, I like the outdoors, but hey... a cozy cafe is also very relaxing.

God Bless

Hospitality

Goal: Intentially be hospitable to people in Chicago.

Mission Accomplished?: Barely

Was it hard?: YES!!!!!!

You'd think that being nice to people and being extra curtious would be an easy task, but it's not. Sure, you can do the simple things like opening the door for someone, or smile and say hello to everyone you pass, but when intentially trying to do good for people isn't as easy as it seems. The first problem I encountered was trying to come up with ideas on how to be hospitable. Others in the house had good ideas like giving out free hugs, or carrying comfy armchairs out to the sidewalk and sticking a sign to the chair that says "Wanna talk?" That last idea was genious! But I had a bit of difficulty coming up with ideas. Finally I decided on letting God decide on how to be hospitable for the day. What I ended up doing is walking around downtown and doing random acts of kindness.

Here's the story:
When I arrived at the train station to catch the train that was heading towards downtown, there was a woman standing halfway up the stairs. As I passed her, I did a sideways glance and saw that she was all sweaty and was holding onto the siderail for dear life. Now, the thing on my mind was "what am I gunna do for this hospitality activity!? Man, this is going to be hard!" Then as I looked at the lady, I felt compassion for her. Honest to goodness, it never crossed my mind that this would be my act of kindness! Well, I stopped, turned around on the stairs, looked at her and said "are you okay?!" To try to give you an image of this I will try to describe this woman. She was an African American woman, probably in her late 40's, and a little on the heavy side. She was drenched in sweat and looked like she wasn't going to make it up the rest of the way which was about two more flights of steps. When I asked if she was alright, she looked at me and said "These steps make me want to go pee! I just came from McDonalds, and man, I shouldn't be drinking this coffee!!" This was not the response I was expecting, but okay. She said "Don't these steps just wear you out?!" I said "yeah, they are pretty grueling! Can I help you with anything?" This woman just looks at me, and with much enthusiasm she said "yeah! you can go get me an elevator or and escalator!!!" I just smiled and said "well ma'am, I don't think I can do that!" She said, "well then, I guess you can't help me... but you sure are sweet for asking!" What I did do was finish walking her up the stairs and starting conversation. When I got off at my stop, the lady gave me a big ol' smile and said "now you have a good day now, ya hear?" I said "Yes ma'am, you too."

When I got downtown I thought to myself "man, this hospitality thing is HARD! To be honest, I didn't find much else to do but be kind and say hi to people and help a few people with directions to Navy Pier. It didn't occur to me until the train ride home that the lady I escorted up the stairs was a pretty hospitable thing to do... That's my story.

Lesson learned: Do things that are kind all the time... you never know when it'll be hospitable. :) Plus, it brightens up your day as well as theirs (hopefully).

Poverty

Let's face it, poverty is not the easiest issue to discuss. Everyone has their own ways and ideas on how to help eliminate poverty in the United States. Here at Jesus People USA, us people in Radical Journey took time to discuss his hot topic. One of the ways that in which we discussed poverty was by doing an activity where we all stood in a line while questions were being asked. Some of the questions were "If you or your family have ever lived with Government assistance, step back on step." Another question was "if your parents gave you your first car, take one step forward." So by the end of the game, the people who were more fortunate were way up front, and the people who have experienced more hardship dealing with poverity were in the back. The questions weren't all about poverty, some had to do with race, and hate crimes. After the last question, then the person asking the questions told us to race to the wall from where we were standing. Obviously the people in the front got to the wall first, but for me who was the furthest one back got to the wall last. I was like "This is so unfair!" and it was. In the end, we all realized how fortunate we really are!
Remember: When dealing with poverty, money is not the solution! If you give a man a fish, he will eat for the night, but if you teach the man how to fish, he'll have food for a lifetime.

What do you do when you see a group of homeless men sleeping by a building, one in which doesn't have a blanket? As I was walking outside from our flat, I happened to come upon a situation like this. My heart was breaking cause it was cold and raining and the one man was just laying on top of a cardboard box. Normally when I see someone who is homeless, asking for money, I tend to say "sorry, I don't have any change on me" and keep walking, not thinking twice. But somehow, seeing people sleeping on the streets tend to get my attention. What I did was turn around and went back into the flat to ask the group what they thought about the situation. The logical thing is to just give the man a blanket, but the problem was that the blankets that we had didn't belong to us, they belonged to JPUSA (Jesus People USA). After a short discussion, we decided that we would take a blanket out to the man, then all chip in the buy JPUSA another blanket. When we went out to give the man the blanket we said was "Sir, you look cold tonight" and covered him up with the blanket. The man did not respond so we just walked away. This man may have been passed out when we put the blanket on him, but at least he would wake up with it wrapped around him. Maybe he even thought "how did this get here." I only wish I was there to tell him that it was God's love and mercy that put that blanket around him last night.

The next night I was walking home from the train and was exhausted from walking around downtown all evening at a Latin music fest. When I got to the cornor of the alley way I saw the same man we had given the blanket to. He had nothing with him but a backpack and the blanket. He was using the blanket like a sleeping bag, so not only did he have something to cover up with, but he had something to put between him and the cement. I felt God in that moment. I felt amazing knowing that I followed God's call to help someone. Who would have known that a ragged old blanket could do so much?!

Hey everyone! So I leave tomorrow for Chicago! My family is driving me down so pray for a safe trip. I will be in Chicago for 1 month then off to Australia I go. I will be returning in July of 2010 so I will keep you posted on what's going on down under! Meanwhile, don't be shy, I'd love to hear from everyone while I'm away so I'm not completely excommunicated from your lives!